The summer after Caleb's kindergarten year we had a lot happen. My job was eliminated and the child support hadn't come through yet from my ex husband so we had to move. That meant the school he had been going to that he had grown to love would not be the one he would be attending for first grade.
I decided I would try to get him into the same school his older sister was attending in the county. It was the one she had been going to since my ex husband registered her there three years before.
But that in itself became a challenge. Even though the kids were going to their dads every other week and he was in the school zone, the school didn't want the two of them to attend there. It really got me riled up because I personally knew a friend as well as a family member who lived out of zone and their kids were attending that school. Those people were married not divorced like me. The kids going to their dads every other week was an agreement my ex husband and I made when he "couldn't" pay child support. The principal was adamant that my kids be transferred to the school where my mom and step dad were zoned. She had already taken the steps to notify the principal there that my kids were coming. I about lost it.
Then the SRO came in and treated me as if I were being deceiving. Supposedly he had been making trips over to where my ex husband resides and claimed my kids didn't live there. And then he made the statement that I didn't return his call. I never received a phone call from him or I would have returned it. I even checked my phone and I had a record printed and never found a number for him or the school. It was then I realized they for some reason wanted both my kids out of that school. I had no idea why they wanted my daughter out of there because she was an honors student, perfect attendance and always, always, always well behaved. She had been a basketball player there too and I had been a parent volunteer. I had even asked the principal if my daughter could stay and I would send Caleb somewhere else and was denied. As a final plea I asked her what could be done to keep the kids there. It was supposed to be the best school in the county and I wanted my kids to get the best education possible. I was told that my ex husband would have to have primary custody AND the kids be living there most of the time. "Most" of the time was not explained to me or my ex husband even when we asked. By this time my ex husband and I agreed we wanted our daughter to finish school there as she was in the fifth grade in her final year there.
In a long shot we went to the courthouse to talk with a judge or someone who would explain to us how to go about giving my ex husband primary custody. That also meant the child support would stop although he would still owe the arrears. I didn't care at that point. I just wanted my kids to be in a stable environment not jumping from one school to the next. I wanted my kids to have what I didn't have. Stability.
We had to wait a little while but got in to see the mediator which according to him, was a miracle. He praised us for working together focusing on the kids. Funny part was, both my ex husband and I wanted to so badly take the papers and rub them in the principals face. We knew she was so determined to get our kids, probably mainly Caleb out of the school. Within an hour we had exactly what we came there for. The papers showing that my ex husband now had primary custody of the kids.
We were excited to go back to the school and actually met up with the principal and the SRO who had the strangest look on their faces when we showed up with papers. Partly it looked as if they were disappointed. But the SRO made it clear he was going to monitor the situation. My ex husband figured the principal wouldn't back down and would be on our backs like a monkey.
To summarize the entire first grade year for Caleb in one word: Hellacious.
I lost count how many times I got called or received notification that he was suspended from school. In fact, he missed out on the class picture by an hour because the principal refused to let him stay even though I would be there.
Within the first six weeks of school Caleb was suspended for the year off the bus to his dads. I got the kids back into the Boys & Girls Club and they also picked the kids up after school. That was a rocky situation. Sometimes he got in trouble on the bus and other times he got suspended. I got the hunch the driver didn't like Caleb. He didn't like her either and I didn't blame him. It also meant there were countless times I had to pick Caleb up from school.
The first IEP meeting I felt we were getting somewhere. I kind of changed my attitude (some) towards the principal when she took up for Caleb and in body language reminded the teacher not to jump to conclusions and diagnose him with ADHD. His teacher was adamant he should be tested for it. I tried avoiding the subject. A behavior specialist observed him for a week in the classroom later on. She determined Caleb had something else other than ADHD. At a meeting with her she gave me information on Sensory Integration Disorder. I did some research and so many things fit Caleb.
But life got in the way and I didn't bother following through which in turn made the specialist mad and of course everyone else at the school. I didn't want to hear that my child "could" have ADHD because I wasn't buying it.
Caleb for one, is smart. Yet he is so stubborn. If you are having a bad day I promise he will pick up on it and rebel. He has sensory overload when people get in his face, touch him or even cough or sneeze on him. It sets him off and that gets him in a world of trouble.
I did play an active part in Caleb's education though. I went to the meetings, went to parties, ate at school with him and I chaperoned on a few of the field trips. All that seemed to not matter to the school staff. They mostly acted as if Caleb was a nuisance.
The last and final IEP meeting of the year nearly set me off. The principal couldn't make it so the recently replaced assistant principal showed up to the meeting all gung ho. I was blatantly told that IF my son did not improve he was going to be sent to the alternative school and would be a juvenile delinquent.
I could not believe what this woman was saying to me. I mean my son who was six years old and in first grade was already being labeled. Seriously?
I had a lot of positive things going on at that time that I happily let them know that more than likely Caleb wouldn't be back next year anyways. I had been accepted to Tennessee Tech and was waiting on an apartment to come open for us. And they happily made an extra copy of the IEP papers and other stuff for when we did move.
Moving was the best thing for us. Before school began we met with the assistant Special Education director for Putnam County. When she looked at the extra copy the school gave me three months prior, it upset her. Apparently the school had done nothing for Caleb. Testing had not been done since he was in kindergarten. At that point I felt that his entire first grade year was a waste and precious time had been lost.
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